Bradley Cooper Peaked as Will Tippin

(i.e., Know What You're Getting Into)

Ok, so I really don’t mean to start this newsletter on an antagonistic level, but it’s going to be opinions, and those opinions are mine, so here we are.

Will Tippin: Committed to Journalism, Not a Proper Haircut

If you love Bradley, cool, I don’t want to yuck your yum, but I really think that since his Alias days, he’s developed a true dead-behind-the-eyes, leading man vibe that is kind of his trademark now? I can’t get into this. I keep trying. Honestly, I really do. A close friend had me watch the Lady Gaga movie (I want to call it “The Shallows” but I know that’s not the movie) on my birthday weekend in Miami in 2019, and I didn’t hate it, per se, but I spent most of the movie wishing Gaga had really given his hair a good scrub in that tub (alcoholics can have clean hair, too??) and just feeling “meh”? I sat through all 300 hours of Nightmare Alley, which might be Cooper’s perfect role - scammer, vacant soul, deadbeat- and really, my only feeling was that of being cheated that we only got a brief pec shot when he got into the tub. He has a kid with a supermodel, celebrities don’t rave about him but also don’t trash him, he remains conventionally attractive, etc. etc.

Is this a “the lady doth protest too much” situation? Think what you want (this Substack is not designed to “influence” you to anything beyond laughter), but *I* think it’s mostly about disappointment. I want Bradley Cooper to be the Nerdy Best Friend. Will Tippin was a journalist, and a bit of a bumbling one at that. (I mean, he dated his real GF’s evil doppelganger for god’s sake.) He’s the person you should be with but aren’t. He’s normal, not the romantic lead. But, Hollywood chose otherwise and even though I live here (sort of?), and I get the way this works, I think a career as the brainy, loyal, misunderstood (I’m an Aquarian and we thrive on being unknowable) bestie is what I relate to. And I’m still kind of pissed that Bradley left the land of stalwart nerds for artsy heartthrob (exception: The Hangover, which is more frat bro).

Will Tippin: Rumpled Nerd

So, what’s this Substack going to be about? Well, not Bradley Cooper. It’s going to be about being a geek. Expect podcasts, book reviews, article links, a regurgitation of every TV show and movie I watch, a smidge of celebrity gossip and a lot of travelogue (hotels, history, food, place and things). I’ll probably write more than you want to know about all these things. I just had friends at my apartment this weekend, and when they left they said, “Well, thanks for giving us that extrememly thorough rundown of all the movies you’ve watched for awards season.” I think they meant that?!?

In truth, I’m not sure what this will evolve into, but if you’ve still got a flame for Will Tippin, I think you should subscribe.

Please drop your favorite fictional or famous nerd in the comments, and let’s get started. xx